As Memorial Day and the summer season approach, many in recovery face a common challenge: staying grounded in their sobriety while surrounded by social gatherings, barbecues, and beach parties that often include drinking or substance use. While holidays can be joyful, they can also trigger stress, loneliness, or the pressure to fit in, making it crucial to plan ahead.
Whether you’re newly sober or well into your recovery journey, here are some empowering strategies to help you protect your sobriety, advocate for yourself, and still enjoy the season:
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Make a Plan Before You Go
Before attending any holiday gathering, take a moment to check in with yourself. Are you ready to be around alcohol or other triggers? Who will be there? What supports will you have?
Pro tip: Bring a sober friend, set a time limit, and have an exit strategy. Drive yourself or use a rideshare app so you can leave at any time without relying on someone else.
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It’s OK to Leave the Party
You don’t owe anyone an explanation for protecting your recovery. If you feel uncomfortable, triggered, or simply out of place—it’s absolutely okay to leave. Your sobriety is more important than anyone else’s expectations.
Self-advocacy tip: Practice saying something simple and firm: “Thanks for the invite—I’m heading out, but I’m glad I came by.” “I’ve got an early day tomorrow, so I’m going to bounce early.”
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Speak Up for Yourself (Without Explaining Everything)
You don’t have to go into detail about your recovery unless you want to. Advocating for yourself can be as simple as:
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- Bringing your own non-alcoholic drinks and politely declining anything else.
- Saying, “I don’t drink, but thanks anyway.”
- Letting close friends or family members know ahead of time: “Just so you know, I’m focusing on my recovery and won’t be drinking. Thanks for understanding.”
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Bring What You Need to Feel Comfortable
Having your own drinks (sparkling water, soda, or a fun mocktail) helps avoid awkward moments and gives you something to do with your hands. You might also bring a book, a journal, headphones, or even a sober friend to stay grounded.
Bonus: Many people now offer “sober-friendly” options at gatherings—feel free to suggest this to your host!
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Have a Support System On Call
Keep your sponsor, therapist, or a sober friend on speed dial. If you feel overwhelmed, step outside and make a call or send a quick text. Even a few encouraging words from someone who understands can reset your mindset.
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Start New Traditions
Who says summer fun has to involve substances? Organize your own sober picnic, go on a hike, host a movie night, or hit a local park with your support network. Creating new, joyful experiences can reinforce your recovery and help redefine what holidays mean to you.
You Deserve to Feel Safe and Empowered
Recovery is an act of strength, especially during seasons that may feel tempting or isolating. By advocating for your needs, setting healthy boundaries, and preparing ahead of time, you’re not just avoiding relapse—you’re building a fulfilling, self-directed life.
This Memorial Day, remember:
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- You don’t have to go.
- You don’t have to stay.
- And you definitely don’t have to explain.
Your recovery is yours to protect—and that’s something worth celebrating.